The Rules of Three: Gas, a Corpse, and a Machete

The Rules of Three: Gas, a Corpse, and a Machete

Dispatched & Dysfunctional – Because sometimes the worst calls make the best stories.

Welcome to Dispatched & Dysfunctional — where the darkest moments become stories of resilience. These aren’t polished hero tales. They’re the raw, unfiltered truths of EMS: the calls that scar, the ones that save, and the ones we carry forever.

🚑 It was supposed to be simple — a wellness check. Knock, talk, clear the scene. Instead, the second we walked in, the smell hit us. Gas in the air, a decomposing body in the back, and before we could even process that, a family member waving a machete.

And just when we thought we had seen it all, another patient dropped into a full seizure in the middle of the chaos. Three emergencies. Zero warning. All in one call.

This wasn’t just a bad shift. It was the kind of night that reminds you EMS doesn’t follow rules — it makes its own.

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: Graphic EMS content, decomposition, violence, seizure, and dark humor. Listener discretion advised.

Why It Matters:
Because even “routine” calls can spiral into disaster. This one proved that being BLS doesn’t mean basic — it means being first in, staying calm when everything goes sideways, and holding the line until more help gets there. It’s a reminder that in EMS, chaos doesn’t come one at a time. It comes all at once.

🧠 Need support?
Text or call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org

💬 “I’d rather hear your story than read your eulogy.”

📬 Want to share your story?
Visit critical-run.com or message us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional

 

🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.

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🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  
🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).

⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  
Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.

This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  
Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.