Dispatched & Dysfunctional

Naked and Afraid… of the EMT

🎙️ Episode Title: Naked and Afraid… of the EMT
🪓 Tagline: He was naked. He had a broomstick. I had a concussion.
 
 
 
🚨 Episode  Description:
What do you get when PD watches from the sidelines, a naked man starts pulling civilians out of cars, and I decide today’s the day I chase a psych patient in the middle of traffic?
 
You get a concussion, a viral video, and an HR policy with your name on it.
 
In this episode, I relive the time I got knocked out by a naked dude with a metal broom handle, chased him anyway, helped take him down, and still patched him up in the back of the rig — with a cop riding shotgun just in case.
 
Oh — and yes, this one made it all the way to Tosh.0.
 
EMS doesn’t come with hazard pay for nudity, but it does come with damn good stories.
 
 
 
🧠 Why It Matters:
Sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes we go viral.
But what sticks with you isn’t the hit — it’s the decision not to press charges… because the guy needed help more than handcuffs.
 
 
 
⚠️ Dispatched & Dysfunctional
Because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.
 
 
 
✅ Need support? Text or call 988
📬 Want to share yours? critical-run.com or message us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

The Ones Who Hold Us Up

They see the lights. They hear the sirens.But they don’t see the ones waiting at home.
This episode isn’t about the chaos on scene — it’s about the people who keep us standing when the chaos comes home.The spouses who sit in silence until we’re ready.The families who let us vent without judgment.The kids who defend us when we can’t defend ourselves.And the partners on shift who catch us when the job nearly breaks us.
Because without them, most of us wouldn’t have made it this far.
💬 “I’d rather hear your story than read your eulogy.”
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

Brains on the Blacktop, Tacos in the Gut

⚠️ Disclaimer: This episode contains graphic and emotional content. Listener discretion is advised.
🎙️ Episode Title: Brains on the Blacktop, Tacos in the Gut
🩺 Summary:After working a fatal interstate trauma scene where a man was dragged for miles, the only thing left to do was… eat Taco Bell. Because sometimes, your brain breaks — and sometimes, it bails.
📌 Why It Matters:Coping in EMS doesn’t always look like therapy. Sometimes it looks like bad jokes, worse meals, and laughing when no one else understands why.
—🎧 Dispatched & DysfunctionalBecause sometimes the worst calls make the best stories.critical-run.com
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

He Looks Like He's About to Give Birth

A new guy, first hitch offshore. GI symptoms on arrival.
His supervisor thought he was faking it.
 
He wasn’t.
 
By the time I found him, his belly was tight, distended, and he could barely breathe.
IV fluids. Antibiotics. Foley. Medevac launched.
Two feet of necrotic bowel. Six hours from rupture.
 
This is what it looks like when you trust your gut — and it’s right.
You don’t always get a win out here.
But this time, I did.
 
And yeah — I’m proud of that.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

"In the Silence Beyond Sirens: A First Call's Weight"

Welcome to Dispatch and Dysfunctional, where the darkest moments become stories of resilience. Join us as we delve into the harsh realities faced by EMS and first responders, exposing the emotional toll of the job through real-life experiences. Please note: This episode contains sensitive content and dark humor that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Our episode takes you inside a chilling initiation on my last EMT ride along. What was expected to be an ordinary call quickly revealed the heart-wrenching truth of working in emergency services. Through vivid recollection, hear how one simple dispatch unfolded into a life-altering experience, demonstrating the human vulnerability often hidden beneath professional stoicism.
This powerful narrative invites you to witness the often silent burdens carried by those in uniform, pushing the limits of courage and emotional endurance. It's an invitation to start the conversation about the mental health of our emergency frontline heroes. Listen and hold space for their stories - because talking might just be the lifeline we all need.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

"Trampled by a Tractor: A Medic's Tale of Survival and Humor"

This episode of "Dispatched and Dysfunctional" brings a harrowing yet humor-tinged story of real-life EMS experiences. Chris, our host, recounts a night that took an unexpected turn when he was run over by his own tractor in a bizarre accident. From the intense pain and the helplessness under the weight of a machine to the chaotic hospital visits and unexpected camaraderie among EMS professionals, the narrative weaves through a gamut of emotions.It's a raw and unfiltered depiction of the trials faced by first responders, their resilience, and the humor they find amidst crisis. It also touches on the importance of support systems, both personal and professional, and the strength it takes to ask for help. Laugh and learn with Chris in a story that's both sobering and life-affirming.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

Silence That Echoes: A Responder's Emotional Journey

In this episode of Dispatched and Dysfunctional, listeners are taken on an emotional journey that explores the silent struggles and unseen burdens often carried by emergency service workers. The story unfolds on an offshore rig, where strong bonds form like family, and silence sometimes hides the most profound pain.The episode delves into a call that was never heard, yet profoundly felt—a tale not of external injuries but of personal battles, questioning self-worth, and the harsh reality of mental health. It serves as a poignant reminder of the human connections that linger beneath the surface, both in triumph and in heartache.Through personal anecdotes and genuine reflections, this episode sheds light on the necessity of showing up for each other, recognizing the signs amidst the silence, and the importance of openly discussing our mental health. Listeners are reminded that while the outcome may not always be in our control, the willingness to care and engage might just be the difference in someone’s life.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

"The Quiet Killer: Complacency in EMS"

This gripping episode delves into the often-overlooked dangers of complacency and burnout in the Emergency Medical Services (EMS) field. As we explore real-life accounts and experiences, you'll hear how these silent killers impact the lives of patients and first responders alike. Despite the chaos and adrenaline that define the job, it's the quiet moments, the ignored alarms, and the fatigue-induced dismissals that pose the greatest threats.Join us as we uncover the importance of staying vigilant, speaking up, and trusting instincts to save lives. Through emotional storytelling intertwined with dark humor and raw honesty, this episode offers invaluable insights for anyone in the medical field or those interested in the true challenges faced by EMS personnel every day.When survival is at stake, silence is not an option. Listen in, and discover why showing up—even in the quietest moments—makes all the difference.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.

The Rules of Three: Gas, a Corpse, and a Machete

⚠️ Disclaimer: This episode contains graphic and emotional content. Listener discretion is advised.
🎙️ Episode Title: The Rules of Three: Gas, a Corpse, and a Machete
🩺 Summary:A routine wellness check spirals into chaos — one decomposing body, one armed family member, and one patient actively seizing in our care. Three emergencies, zero prep, and a call that left its mark.
📌 Why It Matters:Even “simple” calls can flip into full-blown disasters. This one proved that being BLS doesn't mean basic — it means being first in and holding it all together until help arrives.
—🎧 Dispatched & DysfunctionalBecause sometimes the worst calls make the best stories.critical-run.com
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional  🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent  🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.  Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.  Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.